Will I want to share this with you because your mom said you felt a little uneasy preaching. When I got saved and delivered from drugs, alcohol and the sinful lifestyle that goes along with all that. I woke up the next morning and everything seemed so FRESH AND NEW to me, it was as though I had been reborn, oh wait, I was born again! At 29 years of age, I began reading the bible for the first time. I was given the New Testament on cassette tapes and began listening to them on the way to and from work.
It took me about SIX WEEKS to go through the New Testament and I did indeed discover that “…the word of God is LIVING and POWERFUL, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is A DISCERNER (kritikos: to distinguish, to determine) of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12) I also discovered that, “Since God in His wisdom saw to it that the world would NEVER KNOW HIM THROUGH HUMAN WISDOM, He has used OUR FOOLISH PREACHING to save those who believe.” (1 Corinthians 1:21)
I also soon discovered that, “NO EYE has seen, NO EAR has heard, and NO HUMAN MIND has conceived”— the things GOD HAS PREPARED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM— these are the things GOD HAS REVEALED TO US BY HIS SPIRIT. The Spirit searches all things, even the DEEP THINGS OF GOD.” (1 Corinthians 2:9-10) This helped me greatly to realize that GOD WOULD REVEAL TO ME what He wanted me to TEACH AND PREACH!
I also discovered another very important fact, which I knew from the night I got saved when God said to me, “Bill. I love you!” “The sheep LISTEN to His voice.” (John 10:3) “…His sheep follow Him because they KNOW His voice.” (John 10:4) “…they do not RECOGNIZE a stranger’s voice.” (John 10:5) “I have other sheep…they too will LISTEN to my voice” (John 10:16) “My sheep LISTEN to my voice…” (John 10:27) People say to me that “they do not hear the Lord speak”, it’s because they have not been taught. We see in this one chapter, five times the Lord talks about hearing His voice, we just need to learn how! God is our Father, what kind of Father would NEVER SPEAK TO HIS CHILDREN? So, we need to learn how to listen!
When I was saved for about a month, I was down on the floor praying and the Lord said to me, “Bill, I want you to preach!” This was kind of A SHOCK TO ME because I did not do well with public speaking, but I said OK. That Sunday morning it was announced that I would be preaching Thursday Night Youth service. It went fairly well but I was really anxious.
I read in the Bible, about a prayer closet so, I set up a place I my clothes closet to go in and pray. When I was asked to preach, I would seek the Lord, then listen to the Lord so I would feel comfortable about what to preach. I would then preach in my prayer closet and in my car and feel pretty good about what the Lord gave me. But when it came time to preach I would give in to fear and anxiety, hold on to the pulpit and pretty much read my sermon. After some time of doing that my pastors wife asked me if I was really called to preach.
Will, this went on for about 18 miserable months, I would get anointed in my prayer closet and hang on to the pulpit when I would preach. It was an awful time!!!
I was put on program for the State Youth Convention to preach “How To Get The Monkey Off Your Back.” So, I really dug in and prayed earnestly for the Lord to help me yield to the anointing and not to “the Fear.” When it was my time to preach, I got up and started walking to the platform and noticed an open door on the way up and I said to the Lord “If I’m going to give in to fear just guide me out the door.” I stepped behind the pulpit and the Lord said “put your notes down and back away from the pulpit” I did that, and the anointing came on me and I really preached, it really surprised me at how much easier it is to TRUST IN THE HOLY SPIRIT rather than my notes.
Now Will, every day I write devotions, I don’t begin until I SEEK THE LORD for what He would have me to say. He faithfully speaks a scripture or a subject to me and I prayerfully go with it, and it always astonishes me what the Lord gives to me and I’m so thankful for it.
-Bill Stockham