“For God SO LOVED the world that HE GAVE His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God DID NOT SEND His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him MIGHT BE SAVED.” (John 3:16-17)
The fundamental point of John 3:16 is that God loves you. Or is it? If the point of the most famous verse in the Bible is that God loves you, why is it that many unsaved and unchurched people live AS IF THERE IS NO GOD, but quickly and confidently claim GOD STILL LOVES THEM? At the same time, many sincere, God-fearing, and committed followers of Jesus Christ often question God’s love for them. In spite of all the publicity that John 3:16 gives to this truth, how is it that so many of us DO NOT REALLY KNOW the true love of God?
Let me offer an answer. Some years ago, I read Gary Chapman’s bestseller The Five Love Languages. Chapman argues that people communicate love differently, that each person has a natural and distinct way in which he or she gives and/or receives love. Physical affection, verbal expression, acts of service, providing, giving gifts, opening opportunities, and spending time are some of the common love languages.
I have ministered to couples who obviously loved one another; but they both complained, in essence, they felt unloved. It is because they didn’t know ONE ANOTHER’S LOVE LANGUAGE. HE gives love by slaving at a job he hates. SHE receives love by how much time he spends with her. So, he feels unloved because she doesn’t appreciate his breadwinning efforts. She feels unloved because he doesn’t spend more quality time with her. They love one another, but they are NOT SPEAKING THE SAME LOVE LANGUAGE. Could this be why we DO NOT UNDERSTAND the love of God?
I think we can come to a passage such as John 3:16 and leave it without understanding the love of God, because we DON’T KNOW God’s love language. We listen to John 3:16 to hear about the fact of God’s love, but the verse speaks to us ABOUT the manner of God’s love. The truth of God love IS HIDDEN WITH THE NATURE OF GOD’S LOVE. So we cannot really know that God loves you until we know HOW God loves us. We can live under a dark cloud of divine abandonment while the LIGHT OF John 3:16 shines the light of God’s love IN OUR FACE if we do not know how God communicates His love for us. Or if we have ANY DOUBTS about His love for us. You see, if we are asking God for something that will DO US HARM and God holds it back from us we may question His love for us. WE NEED TO REALIZE THAT IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD TO LIE! And fall back on that truth…
I acknowledge it may seem as if I am making something simple seem complicated. After all, John 3:16 plainly makes one of the most awesome claims of the New Testament: God LOVES the whole world. This statement is very remarkable indeed.
John 3:16 declares God is a lover. This goes against the general notions of God. Many people think God is ANGRY. We correctly view God as a God of wrath, but we misinterpret that wrath in terms of our humanness rather than His holiness. Thus, we view God as very strict, a cosmic killjoy, an angry parent sitting in His heavenly living room with His divine belt in hand waiting for the disobedient sinner to come through the door. Others view God as indifferent. They think God DOES NOT and CANNOT CARE about the EACH ONE OF US so intimately. But indeed He does, HE SO LOVES…
-Bill Stockham