“…this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men LOVED DARKNESS (skótos: of ignorance respecting divine things) rather than light, because their DEEDS WERE EVIL.” (John 3:19) skótos, figuratively can refer to spiritual or moral darkness (including a lack of spiritual understanding) or of MORAL IGNORANCE because of listening to and being obedient to the devil. That is why Paul said, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion (koinōnia: proof of fellowship) has light with darkness?” (2 Corin. 6:14)
If someone is participating in evil deeds and they prefer darkness rather than light, then we do not want to become their business partner or become their spouse. Some may advise us to go ahead JOIN THEM, THEN WORK ON CHANGING THEM. Here is the problem with that kind of thinking, while we are in the “courting stage” of our relationship for business partner or a marriage partner, we should be doing all we can to “win” them. So, if they won’t change certain things it’s very unlikely that they’ll change them later on.
LET’S LOOK AT FOUR IMPORTANT AREAS IN OUR RELATIONSHIP:
- COMMUNICATION: Good communication is one of the most important aspects to having a healthy relationship. When starting a new relationship, it’s important to be able to talk about what you want and expect. Sometimes this means being honest and having uncomfortable conversations, but if you’re in a healthy relationship your partner will be receptive and listen (and you should do the same). Share about your commitment to the Lord.
- RESPECT: Listening to your partner (like actually listening, not just waiting to speak) and trying to understand their perspective is an important way to show respect in your relationship. Even if you disagree on certain issues, respect your partner’s choices and opinions. Don’t try to persuade them to change their mind about things that are important to them. Just because you don’t always see eye to eye, it doesn’t mean that one person needs to change their mind in order for your relationship to work. Remember the second great commandment Jesus discussed, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ (Matt. 22:39)
- TRUST: This is a big one. All healthy relationships require mutual and unguarded trust between partners. Regardless of what either partner has experienced in the past. DO remember that it takes time to build trust in a relationship, when your partner fully trusts you with their feelings, you should respect them and not betray their trust. Let them know that you, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding…” (Prov. 3:5)
- SUPPORT: One of the best things about being in a healthy relationship is having a supportive partner who you know has your back, in a healthy relationship you and your partner will support each other and treat each other as equals. Your partner will be protective of you, but not overly possessive. Supportive partners will always want what’s best for you, and they won’t hold you back from achieving your dreams. “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal. 6:2)
Plan for a joint and very healthy prayer life together. Praying together increases trust and intimacy with your partner: Intimacy is built on trust, and trust is built on how we respond to being vulnerable with each other. Praying together helps us show and receive trust that strengthens the bonds of intimacy in our relationship. “Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I AM THERE in the midst of them.” (Matt. 18:19-20)
-Bill Stockham